his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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