I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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