chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
