I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
