Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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