I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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