she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
