Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
