it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
