hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
