I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize