what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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