Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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