I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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