my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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