He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
