can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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