Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
