i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
