His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
