Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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