i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
