Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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