Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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