I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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