a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
