idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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