Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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