The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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