My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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