I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
