didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
