I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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