there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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