Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
