on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
