yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
