I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
