im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
