Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Randomize
