somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
