I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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