i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
