I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
