Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
