The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
