how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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