im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
