tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize