Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
