Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
