That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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