sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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