so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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