Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize