i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
