i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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