So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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