We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
