I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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