East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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