So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
