well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
