i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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