Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
