mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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