Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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